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I remembered some things from the night before, or I supposed it could have been the week before, since I felt like I'd been sleeping forever and my memories seemed distant and remote. They were surreal and disjointed, and I lay there trying to put them in some order, but that was pointless. It just made the numbness turn into a little throbbing pain and I tried to shut it all out of me.Eventually though I did have to move, mostly because I really needed to pee. That was when I got a real. Another flash of memory.My mother, weeping at the kitchen sink, was holding a sheaf of medical papers in her hand. She stared at the papers as if they were a palpable enemy that she could rend, tear, or kill. Her tears were hard and angry – but soft, and almost helpless. Hindsight cleared up so much, and I now know the anguish she felt as the sterile, white forms pronounced her death sentence.For millennia I lingered in the valley of death. There were no shadows in that valley, only blackness,. It might as well be a vibrator or a dildo or even another man’s cock inside of her!” And I wonder: Am I the only one possessed of such weakness? Or do all men suffer the same reptilian insecurities? Of course, I know better. We are soul mates, joined in so many subtle ways that our sexual coupling serves only as the most obvious form of our union. It stands as our public and private offering to the gods of love and good fortune, for we are forever indebted to both. It is my cock that you crave.. I offered to come get her, but she said it made more sense for her to have her car at my place, which was true, so we arranged for her to come over at three pm (the sun goes down before five pm, this time of year, and most of the people with younger kids try to make their rounds before it gets dark). When I asked her her favorite kind of candy, she just laughed, so I just went to the supermarket and grabbed a bunch of stuff from a store display. I also got some cheese and crackers, and a couple.
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