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"I told myself I would not go; to do so would mean I was giving her complete control. I was the boss and she had to realize that. I did buy a bottle of cognac but I intended to drink it myself in a show of defiance. That night as eight o'clock approached my resistance melted and I rushed to get dressed in my most expensive slacks and a white cashmere sweater. I got to her place as fast as I could. As I rang her buzzer I glanced at my watch; it was 8:04 I rang the buzzer 4 times before she let. Would I be able to please her in the ways we had talked about? Would my 50 year old body be able to keep up with a 27 year old woman? The thought of bailing out before she could get to the room crossed my mind briefly. "No," I said to myself. "She's driven over an hour to do this and that wouldn't be fair." I had met Allie on Lush. Searching for friends in my home area, she was the first one I had actually approached through a message. We chatted and something clicked. Allie had a keen sense of. Whether deserving or not, he believes it." You got all of that from just looking at me? How old do you think I am?" That is a terrible thing to ask me. If I'm truthful and put your age too high, you will be insulted. If I guess too low, you will think I am trying to flatter you. I'm not going to answer." I smiled."Okay, now I know that you are reasonably intelligent by that answer. How do you want to start this?" Why don't you tell me about yourself? How you came to be here, the owner of a. You tell me the safe words we use and when I feel the need to, I can use the safe words. (Green- go, Yellow- slow down and check in, Red- the scene stops immediately). I cannot take the collar off unless you do it or you instruct me to, and once the collar is off, it signifies that the scene is over, and we can resume as normal. I can feel my edge being pushed to submit to someone else. Trust issues and safety issues rise up to the surface, and I wonder if I can fully submit to you, if you are.
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