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At least in that case I could have gotten a cup of coffee.The second burn phone of the day rang at exactly midnight. "Tell me what you see?" the heavily altered voice demanded."I see a waffle house restaurant with six cars and my truck in the parking lot. Surely you don't want me to leave a million dollars in cash in the parking lot?" I asked."I want you to drive south on highway 22 until you come to an intersection with a flashing red light. At that light I want you to turn right. About two. Now I enjoy making money doing odd jobs which require much less stress and strain. A lot of my clientel are yuppies who have money but no skills fixing things.And the other are mostly widows and divorced women who have lost the handyperson in theyre life. Many times I have been offered sex for payment by a bimbo but have never taken anyone up on the offer because of the tremendous risk involved legally.(Just ask Tiger Woods). A while back I was called to a ladys home to do some repairs.She was. It was in the early 60s and we were woefully ignorant. One day on the way home from school she said she wanted to talk to me out in the treehouse. We hadn’t been there in ages so I checked that the ladder was still good and took a clean blanket to put on the floor.She was near tears and wanted to hold my hand as we talked. “I’m pregnant!” Shit, I didn’t even know she wasn’t a virgin. She continued, “I think about two months. There was an older guy that you don’t know who convinced me to try it. I felt very strange in my unfamiliar outfit, hat, boots, woollen underwear, heavy fur-lined parka."Bert, will you be alright on your own? This town is not all that large but a country yokel like you might manage to get lost even here." Wilbur, you should remember that Christmas is supposed to be the time of peace. It's the remaining 363 days when you can give free reign to your inborn nastiness. But you guys get moving now. I have some urgent shopping to do. See you later. Don't disturb my.
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