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I dont want to saddle anyone with the responsibility of being the father of my child. After all, anyone who fucks me can reasonably assume that Im protected. Its just that Im unable to forgo the pleasure that I am suddenly experiencing, thanks to Naomi and John. You would not consider an abortion?, I asked. I dont think so. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of being pregnant again. In fact, if my next period is normal, I might decide not to go onto any birth control. I might. But I wasn’t sure…you know…Colin.”A sigh. “I went away,” she goes on, “then I came back but you were gone. That’s when I left the note. And I didn’t think you’d see it before tomorrow.”“I wouldn’t”, I say, “but something made me look.”Silence.“Katie?’“It’s okay. I’m still here.” So many thoughts in my head.“Katie, do you believe…these things? I was willing you to look. All the time I was driving back, I kept picturing you – at your letter box.”I know her unspoken questions. Do I. I must have kissed a hundred sweaty faces.Eventually, we made it back to the carpark and waved off fifty relatives or so.Dying to get home I rushed to the car but it soon became apparent I was alone. Surprised, I looked over my shoulder to see Mia and her dad locked in a quiet but serious looking conversation. It was the sort of conversation that you gave them the space they clearly wanted.So i found a shady spot under a nearby palm tree… and waited.Every minute felt like an hour. The carpark. “I had prepared for it.”“Why would you think that was coming?” Uud demanded. “You did everything you could to save us all.”Gillen spread her hands, her left hand clutching the scroll she’d been reading. “It wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough. I’ll admit it hurts. I’ll even admit I cried quite a bit last night. It is what it is, though.”“What are you going to do now?” Syl asked.“I’ve a few plans,” Gillen replied secretively. “I didn’t spend much of my salary over the past few years, so I’m well.
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