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But neither is getting your heart broken at 14 by a ... a whore. Who was I kidding? She kept no secrets as it was. Everyone already knew we were sexually active. What would lashing out in anger accomplish anyway?But that’s not really me anyway, and I knew it. Back to sad and pathetic. Come Monday, we’d be broken up and I’d leave it for the rumor mill to figure it out. I’d be just fine. I’m sure I’d find someone else. Eventually. For now, I felt like shit. I let her do it to me again. It was the. I’ll cook.”“I’m sure she’d like that.”“Have you talked to Lara?”“I called her last night,” I said. “Just to say ‘hello’. They’re leaving for Miami tomorrow afternoon, and the ship leaves on Friday morning.”“And Jocelyn?”“I talked to her on Monday night,” I said. “She’ll be here on Saturday to move into the dorms. That’s when I need to move my things from Rickenbacker 8 to Rickenbacker 2 for the Summer.”“And Clarissa is living at Doctor Blahnik’s, right?”“Yes. She started her job on Monday, and. That I worked harder at being pretty and feminine and sexy than most biological women made me even more so. Once I learned that, once I was held and kissed and admired as Jennifer, my confidence grew and I fully accepted what I wanted and who I was, and will be forever more. Being a gurl today is so much easier than it was when I started. There is more acceptance, true, but more importantly there are so many more places that make the things we need and want, so many more places to buy and shop. ‘I don’t know what I’m thinking.’ I sip some wine, then gulp some wine. ‘I don’t know what I was ever thinking. On the one hand, I never should have gotten involved with Christian, especially not two days before his wedding. And on the other hand, I don’t know what fucking planet I was living on thinking that Kostas fucking Niarchos, gazillionaire-Greek-fucking-god would ever be able to give a shit about me anyway. I mean, I know he cares, but it’s not like he really fucking cares.’ I gulp some.
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